Weakest Yautja: Lazy Predators Who Failed Their Hunts
Many lists have covered the best and most badass Predators from the franchise. However, there are several Predators who have achieved very little, failed on their hunts and messed up in other ways. This is a list of the biggest Yautja failures, including the likes of Primal Predator, Shesh-Kuk and Shorty. Find out which one is the weakest Predator of all.
Chopper Predator was one of the three hunter brothers who visited the Antarctica temple in the 2004 Alien vs. Predator movie, the others being Scar and Celtic. Chopper was the most unremarkable one with little screentime. He did decorate himself with 2 human skulls and possibly killed some Weyland Industries personnel in the whaling station and inside the temple. While preparing to kill the unarmed Alexa Woods, he was distracted and impaled by the tail of the Grid Alien (who hadn't really received the grid on his head yet). His armor did no good as the tail went straight through. While impaled, he did not have the strength to fight back, and was ultimately headbitten through the mask. Immediately after, Celtic Predator put up a good fight against Grid Alien but shared the same fate of his lost and incompetent brother.
Two-Stripes was a young bad blood Predator and the only Predator known to cheat on a hunt. Although cheating on a hunt is perhaps not a sign of incompetence, being caught while doing so is. Two-Stripes tried to claim the kill of Light-Stepper, who lost his hand while fighting a Xenomorph. However, Light-Stepper survived and pointed the crime to the other Predators. The sentence of Two-Stripes was death by exile - he was left alone on the planet with no weapons and no armor to face a horde of Xenomorphs. While some badass Predators like Scarface and Hive Wars Predator have survived similar conditions, Two-Stripes was scared to death and most likely killed immediately. Two-Stripes appeared only in the Aliens vs. Predator: Blood Time one-shot comic.
The Fugitive Predator showed promise at first and is probably the best thing about The Predator. But that is not saying much. He crashed his ship while escaping from the Ultimate Predator and got captured by humans some minutes later. He showed a lot of competence while escaping from the Stargazer facility, but it doesn't make much sense when you think about it. He came to Earth to help the humans fight the new breed of Predators, not slaughter them like pigs. After escaping the facility, he has a Predator vs. Predator fight with the Ultimate Yautja. Instead of using ranged weapons, he chooses to run straight up to the mega Predator who slaughters him easily. The Fugitive Predator wouldn't be on this list if he survived until the end of the movie and perhaps the movie would be improved as well.
The Archie vs. Predator crossover event is played as kind of a joke but this Predator is worth mentioning anyway. In the story, the Predator is drawn to Archie and his girlfriends by a special cursed dagger. He follows the gang from spending Spring Break in Costa Rica back to Riverdale, their home town. He causes a bloodbath in Riverdale and kills many innocent people. After killing most of Archie's teenage friends, he has a final fight with Archie and his two girlfriends - Betty and Veronica. He manages to stab Archie through the head with his wristblades, but is stabbed through the chest in return. His final act is activating his self destruct device and dying in a fiery explosion thinking he succeeded in killing Archie. However, Archie is soon resurrected as a human/Predator hybrid and lives to fight in Archie vs. Predator II.
Shorty was a young and short Yautja who was part of the clan that Machiko Noguchi joined after the death of Dachande and the events of Ryushi. Being young and reckless, he caused an incident when the clan tried to capture a Xenomorph Queen. Machiko saved his life from a Xenomorph but Shorty developed a deep vendetta against her. Soon after, they had a one-on-one fight on the Predator ship. Shorty cheated with the help of his bully friends and Machiko injured her ankle. After Machiko is left behind on the ship on Bunda, she decided to rejoin humanity and turn against her former hunter companions. She had another fight with Shorty, this time to the death. Shorty was stabbed in the chest with wristblades, ending his short and incompetent hunting career. It is interesting to note that Shorty appeared both in Aliens vs. Predator: War and Aliens vs. Predator: Hunters Planet, which were both alternate sequels to the first Aliens vs. Predator story. Shorty died in similar ways in both stories, although on different planets.
The Meta-Predators were a group of Yautja who were transformed by rogue Dominion genetics into super-powered versions of themselves in the JLA vs. Predator comic series. The super-powers were extracted from the heroes of the Justice League. This meant there was a Predator version Of Flash with super speed and a Yautja Plastic Man who could stretch himself. However, one of the Predators received the powers of Batman, who really didn't have any superpowers. Maybe he received his detective skills and sharp intellect. What the Batman Meta-Predator did receive, was a costume with the bat symbol. He fought Batman and failed miserably. Batman doesn't kill anyone, including Predators, so the dishonored Yautja survived. He is probably the only one on the list to do so.
The Four-Armed Predator was a big Yautja who was dropped on the Game Preserve Planet after the events of the Predators movie. It is unknown if he developed the four-armed naturally or was genetically modified. His goal was to hunt down Royce and Isabella. Instead of taking the time to familiarize with the environment or to observe his prey, he immediately rushed to kill the two in melee combat. He failed to do any real damage and was shot by Isabella multiple times, killing the mutant. The Four-Armed Predator is one of several attempts of comic and movie writers to up the ante and introduces a bigger Predator, a direction the series should not really be going. These events occurred in Predators sequel comic, titled Preserve The Game.
The Yautja from Predator: Primal hunted wild animals in the Denali National Park in Alaska. He had no trouble taking down an elk with his wristblades. However, it all went south for him when encountering grizzly bears. First, he was wounded, fell into a river (similar to Dutch in Predator) and accidentally started a forest fire which alerted the forest rangers nearby. The Primal Predator treated his wounds and later went to fight another round with a big female bear. This time, he was even more badly mauled and left to die by the bear. That was a great insult to the Predator. He went back to his ship and activated his self destruct, taking his single elk trophy with him in the explosion. A much better story about Predators hunting grizzly bears in Alaska is Predator: Turnabout, one of the best Predator novels ever.
Bull Predator was the incompetent Yautja who blew a hole in his own ship with a shoulder cannon while trying to take down the Predalien at the beginning of Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem. While it can be theorized that he tried to sabotage his own ship to destroy the Xenomorph, a self destruct device would have been more efficient. Why he didn't use it later and chose to contact Wolf instead, is another sign of incompetence. Wolf just arrived and activated his self destruct. The only silver lining is that the crashing ship wasn't a mothership, but a smaller scout ship with only a couple of Predators aboard. It can be said that Bull Predator caused the whole mess that was Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem. He did have a nice bio-mask though.
Shesh-Kuk was the weakest Predator that was featured in probably the worst Predator book ever written - Forever Midnight. He was the leader of a clan of Hish-Qu-Ten - a weird offshoot of the Predators with amoral and inefficient hunting traditions. The Hish had no problems killing unarmed innocents, including women and children. Shesh-Kuk changed his gender several times during his life and at one point gave birth to Predator spawnlings . Instead of taking the spawnlings to educative hunts, they were trained with VR headset like-devices far away from any real danger. His whole clan perished under his leadership and he wasn't even facing any tough enemies like Xenomorphs or Colonial Marines. His clan fought a group of colonists with the tribal descendants of a 19th century East India Company trading vessel thrown in. Shesh-Kuk and Predator: Forever Midnight were unpopular with the fans and have been largely ignored in other Predator works.
Tired of the incompetence and want to read about some Yautja who kicked ass? Check out the list about the strongest Predators and the most underrated Predators.